Friday, 12 May 2017

5 days into my diet - I should be at goal weight by now surely?

I started my diet on Monday. Bit of a shock when I weighed in - I knew it was going to be bad, but oh my gosh it was far worse than expected. The good news is that I kicked straight in, and have not deviated - not one bit - despite being sorely tempted.

I have stayed good, stayed focused, and now, its the evening of day 5. Surely that means all the weight should be off by now? All 2 and a half stone of it. No? Why not? It feels such a long week already. I am not very patient - I expect immediate results.

The prospect of this continuing for weeks and months is depressing at this point. I know in a couple of weeks from now, the bad habits will be a distant memory, and my body and mind will have adjusted to the healthy living kick, but right now its making me bloody miserable.

I want to be eating this:

or this:

Everything I enjoy eating makes me put weight on. I love crisps and cheese, nacho's, burgers, curries, pizza, pasta, bread, potatoes, chilli, mexican - mainly savoury, but also some chocolate and ice cream and cheesecake. Argghhhh!!! 

I want to be slim, of course I do. I want to be toned up. These are the things I want, but those things don't come by eating the things I want to eat. So not fair. 

Its Friday night, and that makes me want this:

Instead, I am drinking lemon water. Partay!! Er - no. The problem is that I have this constant conflict with myself. I look in the mirror and think - "I need to lose weight", " I hate my belly" etc... I start to get ready to go out and nothing fits properly and that makes me miserable. 

But then, I see food and I am like "ooh yes, give it to me now". Then I blow my diet, and it goes round in a loop. I know I have to get through this first bit, but its sooo hard right now. 

I want a curry not a plate of veggies. I want wine not a glass of lemon water. However, I want to be slim and have a banging body on the beach come August. So I cannot have the curry or the wine. I can either choose to be good, or choose to be overweight. 

If I choose to be good, I will be able to fit in my clothes. If I don't, I get the body I have now on show on the beach. Hmm - good it is then - just the thought of getting this ass out in view at the moment - not happening. Veggies it is then..... :(