There, I said it. I want a new job, a new career, a new purpose. I left my place of employment of over 24 years at the end of last year. It was a difficult decision, and I have been in no rush to set sail on the employment waves since.
Now the time has come to take action. However, I am torn. I cannot decide whether to enter the same rat race, or do something entirely different.
I don't want to work full time, but I don't know what I can do part time that will be challenging enough, but still not stressful!
Decisions decisions. I keep thinking I would love to do something creative, but then I go back to what I know - which is business. I just can't focus on any one role at present.
I look at jobs working outside, with plants, with gardens, with landscapes and wood and sculpture, but then I don't want to have to work in all weathers. Its one thing enjoying it for yourself, but quite another when its the day job.
Then I think about photography, or writing, maybe for a paper or a magazine, but not really much local and at this point, travelling a long commute really isn't appealing.
The jobs I crave are those such as salvage hunting or property development, but I need the capital to start those businesses, and I am not ready to take the risk just yet.
I rotate between wanting to risk, being averse to risk, round and around. I think I am at a pivotal point, 40 years old, where I want to break the pattern. I want to be fully satisfied in life, including work, attain a sound and solid work life balance.
I appreciate I may have to put in some hours, weeks, months if need be to reach where I want to be short term, to then work the years required in the long term. I want to work, am prepared to graft, but I want to work and graft in the right work for me to give me what I need.
I want to harness my passions in life, use my skills and be of full use whilst not burning out or over stretching at the cost of my health, or my lifestyle.
I understand fully that everyone has dreams, but I full intend to make mine reality. Watch this space.