Thursday, 25 January 2018

Why do I put on weight when it makes me miserable? :(

I'm miserable when I gain weight. There, I said it. I'm a real grump when I feel sluggish and bloated and unhealthy. You might therefore, and quite rightly, ask why I have done this to myself. A very good question.

Lets consider that for a moment shall we? I have done this to myself because food tastes great. Well, fattening food does, fast food does, snack food does. Lettuce does not. That's the truth of it. So my first considered response is I have done this because I love food.

I could leave it there, simples. Alas, its not so simple. Nothing ever is it? No, not simple at all, far from it.

The truth of the matter, for me, is this. I do love food, yes, first answer is true enough. Its the self control over how much, how often and what that is the problem. You can still love food and be slim. Plenty of people are.

My problem is that I am either in control or I am not. I am either on a diet or I am not. I never, repeat never, consider healthy eating to by my lifestyle. I'm on a calorie controlled diet, going to a diet club (insert practically everyone at some point in my life), pointing, food optimising, portion controlling, cutting out carbs - whatever diet, its a diet.

When I stop noticing what I eat, I eat what and when I want. I always go mad, no discipline in sight. The result? Massive weight gain. Which is horrendous for my appearance, my confidence, my ability to fit in my clothes and now I am bloody miserable.

I need to get a grip. I keep saying "diet starts tomorrow", but to quote the cliche - tomorrow never comes. I need to replace tomorrow with now, today.

I wonder to myself how I can even consider stuffing food down my chops when it makes me feel this way, its like something takes over me. All I can do at this point is diet. Nothing else for it.

The issue is finding a way when this weight is off again, of not doing this to myself again!! Solve that puzzle and I've cracked it. Right now, I'm (not so little) Miss Grumpy!! :(

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