Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Wavering Will Power

I have been giving it my all - diet, fitness, gym. Making good progress, my clothes getting looser, finding my cheek bones again! My joggers would not stay up at the gym last night.

So why then, have I been starving hungry all day and wanting to blow it all and binge? Why am I so determined to de-rail? I have worked so so so hard. Tonight, it is like torture.

I am having a serious will power failure, and it is taking all my attention to really try not to give in. I have just eaten a healthy evening meal, had a pint of water and yet still, I am hungry. It's not possible! I have eaten the same amount that I do each day. I haven't skipped any meals. What is going on??

Why is it that will power can disappear overnight? I am determined to ride this out, to keep on track. But I have to tell you that it feels awful right now. I feel like the most hard done to person ever in the world, which is ridiculous. But even knowing its ridiculous doesn't make it stop!!!

I keep telling myself how I will look if I keep trying. I also keep telling myself how I will look if I don't!! My god today has been hard though. The worst since I started this resolution. Which again makes no sense. I expected to feel like this in the first week or so. Not at the end of the month! I need to stay strong, stay focused and not eat the contents of the fridge!!!! Help!!! :(

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