Cheryl Tweedy, Cheryl Cole, just Cheryl and Cheryl whatever the hell your surname is now. What on earth are you wearing????
Kermit the frog with a strange starched sticky up bit. I'm really not feeling it. Cheryl herself just isn't doing it this time around.
I'm saddened a little - she was brill last time around. C'mon Cheryl - step it up a bit now.