I am on a diet. No, more than that. I am on a fitness kick. Gym, PT, healthy eating, off the alcohol Mon - Fri, and starting this week, Sundays too.
I have a goal weight, but also a goal image. I have this notion of what my body could look like at its best. I have a way to go to shift the weight, and even further to achieve he the definition I want.
However, I'm finding something is happening. I usually focus on my efforts - calories, inches, stones and pounds, how many times to go the gym, how much can I lose each week.
Now though, I'm becoming fascinated by those around me, on the TV, magazines etc.. Not in a negative way. No. More of a - that's the sort of thing I want to wear - the white bikini as seen on Tulisa.
It goes further than that though. I'm noticing things I've not noticed before. I am watching Madonna for instance in the Beautiful Stranger video and became focused on how toned her arms were. I am watching for muscle tone, and wondering how they achieve that.
Its like my head, at age 40, has finally cottoned on to the fact that everyone else has to work at it too. They aren't usually born like that, they have to work at it. I'm realising I have body envy, but not of their bodies, envy of the fact they've realised it sooner!!! Its spurring me on and I am feeling motivated :)